Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! It’s a man-made day where couples remind each other that they love them. How do you express your love to your spouse? While it’s good to focus on one another tomorrow, it’s even better for married couples to focus on each other EVERY DAY!
Last week, one of our Pastors taught a marriage class on commitment. Sadly, many people today are say, “I Don’t” when it comes to marriage. As Christians, we need to say, “I Do.”
The title of our lesson is ‘The Language of Love.”
Words are powerful, Proverbs 18:21; Ephesians 4:29. This is true in our marriages.
We can say the language of love that we’re going to look is The Language of the Holy Spirit. That is to say, the Holy Spirit tells us how we are to treat one another: with Patience, with Kindness, with Humility, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. We’re reminded of how to treat and act. But what about what we should say to one another? What does this look like daily?
What does a wife/husband need to hear? These things are generally true.
- What a wife wants to hear from her husband.
- “I am committed to only you.”
This is one of the points Steven made in his class last Sunday. It’s a great thing to say to one another. One of our assignments was to look at one another in the eyes and to say “I am only committed to you.” Consider Song of Solomon 2:16.
This simple statement will go a long way! Husbands and wives are to be one flesh, Genesis 2: 21-24. Trust in a marriage is everything. A reminder of one’s commitment on a regular basis will protect us from thinking about divorce. Here’s your SO WHAT! Say this sometime today to your spouse, in the eyes, and mean it. It may change everything.
- “I value you.”
Our wives need to know we Value Them. They do so much for the family!
In Proverbs 31:10, we are reminded of the value or worth of this woman.
Notice how they husband speaks the language of love to her in Proverbs 31:28-29.
Our wives need to be reminded of this as well. They are not the dishwasher, the cook, or the homeschool teacher. While they may do these things, they are our wives!
- “I desire you.”
It’s good to remind our wives we desire them from a physical standpoint. But also from the standpoint of them simply being our wives. With time, our bodies will change.
Women also need an emotional connection, Song of Solomon 2:10-13.
This kind language of love will go a long way!
How we express it (through words, just because gifts, or our full attention while talking).
- “I cherish you.”
A wife wants to share her life with a man who cherishes her, Ephesians 5:28.
Our wives want to know that we belong to them, and they belong to us, Song of Solomon 2:16.
- “I love you.”
Of course, we need to say these words. Yet sometimes these are hard words to say.
They can be said, and not believed because of our actions.
Consider Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33. Husbands are to love their wives. In word and action! Jesus demonstrated His love for the church. It was seen. Peter said He loved Jesus in John 21. He said it and demonstrated in His service to Him. We must do the same, 1 Peter 3:7. This will require time and being intentional when it comes to pleasing our spouse.
- What a husband wants to hear from his wife
- “I love you.”
Like wives, husbands need to be reminded of it as well.
Wives are to love their husbands, Titus 2:4.
There’s often perception men don’t need to hear these words. I love to hear them.
- “I’m proud of you.”
It feels good when you know your wife is proud of you. Hearing it goes a long way!
Tell your husband you are proud of him. Be specific: his work ethic, his cooking skills, his handling of the finances, etc. The woman in Song of Solomon seemed to, Song of Solomon 5:10-14.
- “I want you.”
A man wants to know that his wife wants him physically. In the dream sequence in Song of Solomon 3:1-4, the woman wants her beloved!
Expressing to your husband that you desire him and want him is good, Hebrews 13:4.
There’s nothing wrong or sinful in doing this either.
Husbands and wives should enjoy the sexual relationship with one another.
- “I need _____ from you.”
When it comes to men, we need a lot of direction. Hints don’t typically work.
Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. Men compartmentalize like the little squares on a waffle. But try eating one piece of spaghetti. That often will not work.
Tell him what you need. Believe it or not, most men will thank you! We’re not the best at communicating. We are to understand our wives, 1 Peter 3:7. You can help us with this by speaking clearly.
- “I believe in you.”
As the head of the family and leader of the house, it’s critical husbands know that their wives believe in them. I think this would fall into Ephesians 5:33.
What men desire is their wife’s support! Hearing these words will give your man great confidence. Be specific that you believe in him that he has what it takes to be a father, overcoming temptations, being the servant of God he is supposed to be, etc.
Back in Proverbs 18:22, it’s a good thing to find a wife. Be a blessing to him.
Some may not agree or even like this sermon. That’s okay! Here’s what’s not okay.
Saying unwholesome words to your spouse. Failing to love as Christ says we should!
Maybe you already know how to speak to your spouse! Great! Keep doing it.
In Case You Missed It check out some of my most recent podcasts, sermons, and updates below.
- When to be a people pleaser: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s6-12-when-to-be-a-people-pleaser/id1488687000?i=1000550292623
- My interview with Melanie Kilgore Hill: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s6-e11-my-conversation-with-melanie-hill/id1488687000?i=1000549533755
- The Key to Having a Great Family: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s6-e10-the-key-to-having-a-great-family/id1488687000?i=1000548880021
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