Are you afraid to ask people for certain things? Are you afraid that someone may tell you no? Are you worried that at times you may be asking someone for too much? I think a lot of people are afraid to ASK. This makes sense when it comes to strangers. When you don’t know someone there can be a heightened sense of fear. But what about people you do know? What about people that we are supposed to be close to? Do we still find ourselves somewhat nervous and intimated to ask them for certain things?

Isn’t it weird how we can be afraid to ask for certain things from those we may be really close to? I know people can be afraid to talk and ask things from strangers. But it’s often the case, that we can be afraid to even ask our spouse for certain things. Children can be nervous to ask their parents for certain things as well. I know I have felt this way. I think many people do. In our home, we have begun doing something a little different. We’ve been saying to one another more frequently this: “It would make me happy if…” I can’t remember where I got this idea from. It may have been from a book I read. At the moment my head is a little foggy. Nonetheless, asking this question has been really powerful. It has caused us as a family (me, my wife, and son) to open up more to one another. I think it is also improving communication.

For some strange reason, people who have been married for years or decades can still be shy, embarrassed, and even nervous asking or making requests. Isn’t that odd? Why is that? If you have some thoughts I would love to hear from you.

It could be because people don’t like to feel rejection. Just because one makes a request doesn’t mean that the other person will honor that request.
It could be that some people don’t feel adequate or worthy to ask their spouse for something that would make them happy.
It could be that some have already done something like this and have been hurt in the process. That hurt may cause them to no longer want to ask or share with their spouse what may make them happy.
There could be more that I’m missing about this. You let me know.
So what is it that would make you happy? Have you thought about that lately? One thing I’ve learned from my son is that he is not afraid to ask for anything! It’s good to have a heart like children.

“Daddy, can you make me some pancakes? That would make me happy.”
“Mommy, can you give me some more juice? That would make me happy.”
“Daddy, can you buy me this new toy? That would make me happy.”
The list could go on and on. Does our son get everything that he asks for throughout the day? NOPE. But it doesn’t discourage him from continuing to ask.
I think couples should do this more.

“It would make me happy if we could take a vacation day and go to_____________ to get away for the day or weekend and relax.”
“It would make me happy you could do the dishes for me tonight.”
“It would make me happy if you could help me with the laundry.”
“It would make me happy if we could have this for dinner.”
Obviously, there’s a lot more we could talk about, right? Does any of this sound silly? When was the last time you asked your spouse something like this? We should be closest to our spouse and be able to share with them our hearts. As I thought about this exercise of what makes us happy, I also thought about God. While it can be easy to focus on what we want, our needs, our desires, we can’t forget about God. What is it that makes God happy? What is it that makes God happy when it comes to our marriages and families? He tells us exactly what makes Him happy.

When husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church, certainly that makes God happy, Ephesians 5:21-25.
When wives love their husbands, certainly that makes God happy, Titus 2:4.
When children obey their parents, certainly that makes God happy, Ephesians 6:1-4.
When couples stay together and honor their commitment, certainly that makes God happy, Matthew 19:1-11.
So, what do you think about all of this? Would love to hear your thoughts.